Math & Science Jokes

The Ten Commandments of Mathematics

Thou shalt not divide by zero.

Thou shalt read thy problem.

Thou shalt show thy work, for thy correct answer does not prove that thou hast worked thy problem correctly.

Thou shalt confirm that the results are reasonable, else thou wilt have flagpoles 9,000 feet in height and fathers younger than sons.

Thou shalt remember thy test days and prepare for them wholly.

Thou shalt honor the correct order of operations.

Thou shalt not do thy math papers in ink.

Thou shalt do unto one side of an equation what thou doest to the other.

Thou shalt first see that thou hast copied thy problem correctly before bearing false witness that the answer book lieth.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's answers, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

Find x

Undefined

Hydrogen Ion

A hydrogen ion walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "You don't look so hot. Are you okay?" The H+ says, "Well, I think I just lost an electron." "Really, are you sure?" says the bartender. The H+ says, "I'm positive."

Expansion

Conversational Constants

Limits

"After explaining to a student through various lessons and examples that..."

"I tried to check if she really understood that, so I gave her a different example. This was the result..."

Simple Simplification

Neutron

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender promptly serves up the drink. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "No charge."

Jokes